Tuesday, June 7, 2011

This is really the only reason you should call first...

Steps to answering the door to unknown persons, Sara style.

1. Assess and/or rectify the decency of your clothing as it pertains to proper fit and cleanliness. Possibly put on a hat.
2. Climb over furniture and things to get to the one window where you can see who's knocking and then climb back out.
3. If the identity of the knocker cannot be determined, locate something to defend yourself should it be needed.
4. Debate what would make a concealable (so you don't inadvertently creep out friends, family or harmless bystanders) defensive weapon that would still be effective. Bonus points if it's a crafting tool of some sort.
5. Determine if the knocker is still there (usually involves jumping to see through the top of the door).
6. Open door with neutral expression and hello ensuring makeshift defense is within easy reach.

I am aware I'm neurotic and paranoid. Also, kind of a hermit. However, this process does weed out people who don't actually need to talk to me or who I don't want to talk to anyway. You know, proselytizers, door to door sales people, people looking for directions or, like today, some random dude I don't know. Family and friends are always welcome...just know you might have to wait. But, *Simultaneous hair flip* I'm worth it.  Or you could just call and I'll skip everything except #2 or substitute #5 for everything.

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